Iloilo City: Home is where the heart is | Death: Number your days to D-Day

After a long while of being away from Iloilo City, having made the decision to leave, back in 2007, just exactly when I made the note to self that I actually like it here now, I'm home again.

After a week and counting of being here, what have I learned?

My parents are nicer. Yay! \o/

The skyway isn't so bad as I had thought it would be. It actually looks nice. Too bad I won't be using it anyway (this girl is resisting learning how to ride a car). :p

I like my city!!! I like my city!!! I loik my city!!!

I think I got a better deal in pants here than I had ever seen in Manila. Hahahahahahaa! Oh joy. Roll.

I'm missing my friends in Manila, though I am learning to take my own advice to a woman I love dearly: Live in the moment. Love the people immediately around you.

There is no use pining for my friends in Manila when I have quite a number of friends here who are waiting for me to infect them with my bubbleheaded laughter, my irreverent view of my foibles in my walk with Jesus and my unique understanding of who He is. Most of us think that He is a guy with a ruler waiting to measure us or spank us or what. I NOW think that He is a loving Father who is only courting our hearts because without Him, we are DEAD.

YES. God is a FUN God, despite the way He needs to get when He disciplines us.

And oh, be happy when God calls your name when you are running away. It is an undoubtedly concrete evidence of how He still loves you when you are being disciplined.

Do I pine for my Ate's in Victory Pioneer?

I guess there is a way of things working out for the good of those who love God... The last 3 months I had in Manila were spent mainly with those immediately close to me in my small group. Thus, my ties to the people around me were already being eased out... So I had not seen Ate Sam's dimpled face, Ate Catz's radiant glow, Ate Jem's motherly countenance, nor Ate Grace's (Gracia P.) quiet strength, and more so Ate Rayche's quiet wisdom, in these past few months. No time, no room to pine for and miss people. No need to, and more so no right to.

I used to be a creature of comfort. I liked the soft fuzzy warm things in life. I liked the idea of "safe." And in my current reading of One Month to Live by Kerry and Chris Shook, I re-realized that I have one big fear currently: living a life too safe, that I'd miss out on obeying God.

I realized then, in my reading, that life was meant to be lived on the edge. I realized that life was meant to be lived taking risks and living, loving, learning to the hilt of who you are and what you can give.

So yes, as my new SG Leader Ann and I had agreed, we shall be soaking first in understanding what One Month to Live has to offer. We want to reach other young women effectively. I personally have a vision that our group, not to be clique-ish or anything, shall be the most bubbly, the most fun, the most joyous, the most grace-ious, the most LOVING, around. Not because I want our group to be known for fame's sake. Because I just want to be part of the biggest ripple around here to infect others. I want to be the most infectiously light-shining, life-giving, joy-diffusing (thank you, Tristan!) of the Victory Iloilo creatures around. Not for anything, but I just want to be like that, for God's glory.

Enough of CHURCH being equated to RELIGION. I's tired of THAT! Let's make CHURCH, VICTORY ILOILO, the best place to be in, every Sunday! Let's make Christianity the most enviable thing on earth to be a part of!

Enough of the concern on who is the greatest in the kingdom. Ministry?! What's THAT?! Seriously. If there's any one thing I take away from the greatest writer/prophet to impact my heart, Pastor Rick Joyner, it would be this: God's heart is touched only to the level of how faithful you were (in terms of being responsible of, allowing to grow) to what He has given you.

Another is the understandting that the greater the obstacle you had to jump through, and the more cavalier the attitude you took with which to survive it, the higher your reward, in the Lord's kingdom.

Those two snippets were my understanding of what Pastor Rick Joyner had written in his book The Vision (Final Quest part, I believe, the story of Angelo the beggar).

That is how I want to live my life: faithful to every little thing that is in my hands, one thing at a time.

So yes, I make a commitment to throwing all caution to the wind. I shall:

• Live fully: Passionately and without a care what other people may think and how they can harm me. To my possible enemies: I shall follow the strict quid pro quo rule: I won't hurt you with full deliberate evil machinations, and I expect God to keep me safe from your intentions as well. :p If you cross the line and burn even a single one of my split ends without due reason, Psalm 105:15 ("Do not touch my anointed ones; do my prophets no harm.") shall be your yardstick. :p
  
• Love with abandon: No matter how many times I get hurt by you, I shall love you, and you and you. :p
  
• Learn in full humility: Not to draw attention to myself, but I just want to share share share what God has done for me and what He could do for you, too.

I am going to be here for only 22,818 days more. So I have to make the most out of those 22,818 days, give or take a few days.

So I, Lorie Therese Locara, shall give it all I've got!!!

According to the Death Clock, I'm supposed to die on Monday, September 14, 2071. A full 87 years, 4 months, and a day!!! I subtracted my current age from that value (24 years, 9 months, and 28 days), in order to get my remaining days on this earth. The equation is 31,876 (days of my full life) - 9058 (days I had already spent). Phew.

I think the Death Clock states that I'll live well into my 80s because I'm the optimistic type. Heheh.

Enough of the mathematical nitty-gritties. Either way, these are the days I have left into my life, and I make a commitment to LIVE THESE DAYS FULLY.


Truth be told, I had said "goodbye" to my teens before I left Manila. I tried to get my two best Graviton buds to understand the significance of my leaving, but I was unsuccessful. I knew that I would be living my days faster. No longer would I stick to safe and comfortable in the coming days. My game plan for the 2-3 years that I will be here in Iloilo would be to:

• Love as many new people as I can.
• Meet as many new friends as I can.
• Help out whomever needs my help, in their ministry, just for the heck of it. (I'm looking at Ate Jenny Galopo, and my buddies in Victory.)
• Reach as many people who are jaded about the Jesus they were taught, as possible.
• Have as many people through Victory Weekend and see as many women flying in their relationship with God, as possible.
• Have as many cups of coffee on the perch God showed me I could use as the substitute for my Cityland rooftop sunrise-gazing post, here at home.
• Have as many cups of coffee I can brew.
• Squeeze the most out of my Me-and-God/Theo Afternoons, as I still could.
• Understand how I could make a go of all these in my 24-hour days, as possible, even as I juggle work and these targets. And sleep too. Heheh.

I don't know if I could regain the level of intensity that my high school friends and I had before, but I know that my days would get faster. My sked would be so squeezed and bled for the maximum, that I know that my metaphor for my life (Rocket), would become true...

These are exciting days. These are amazing days. This is no time to remain sleeping. This is no time to live on the SOMEDAY. The day to live is NOW!!!

Awaaaaaaake!!! You only have ONE LIFE TO LIVE!!!


And oh, somewhere in between all that, I might as well clean my room. Like right now. Heheh. :p

Iloilo City: Home is where the heart is | Death: Number your days to D-Day

After a long while of being away from Iloilo City, having made the decision to leave, back in 2007, just exactly when I made the note to self that I actually like it here now, I'm home again.

After a week and counting of being here, what have I learned?

My parents are nicer. Yay! \o/

The skyway isn't so bad as I had thought it would be. It actually looks nice. Too bad I won't be using it anyway (this girl is resisting learning how to ride a car). :p

I like my city!!! I like my city!!! I loik my city!!!

I think I got a better deal in pants here than I had ever seen in Manila. Hahahahahahaa! Oh joy. Roll.

I'm missing my friends in Manila, though I am learning to take my own advice to a woman I love dearly: Live in the moment. Love the people immediately around you.

There is no use pining for my friends in Manila when I have quite a number of friends here who are waiting for me to infect them with my bubbleheaded laughter, my irreverent view of my foibles in my walk with Jesus and my unique understanding of who He is. Most of us think that He is a guy with a ruler waiting to measure us or spank us or what. I NOW think that He is a loving Father who is only courting our hearts because without Him, we are DEAD.

YES. God is a FUN God, despite the way He needs to get when He disciplines us.

And oh, be happy when God calls your name when you are running away. It is an undoubtedly concrete evidence of how He still loves you when you are being disciplined.

Do I pine for my Ate's in Victory Pioneer?

I guess there is a way of things working out for the good of those who love God... The last 3 months I had in Manila were spent mainly with those immediately close to me in my small group. Thus, my ties to the people around me were already being eased out... So I had not seen Ate Sam's dimpled face, Ate Catz's radiant glow, Ate Jem's motherly countenance, nor Ate Grace's (Gracia P.) quiet strength, and more so Ate Rayche's quiet wisdom, in these past few months. No time, no room to pine for and miss people. No need to, and more so no right to.

I used to be a creature of comfort. I liked the soft fuzzy warm things in life. I liked the idea of "safe." And in my current reading of One Month to Live by Kerry and Chris Shook, I re-realized that I have one big fear currently: living a life too safe, that I'd miss out on obeying God.

I realized then, in my reading, that life was meant to be lived on the edge. I realized that life was meant to be lived taking risks and living, loving, learning to the hilt of who you are and what you can give.

So yes, as my new SG Leader Ann and I had agreed, we shall be soaking first in understanding what One Month to Live has to offer. We want to reach other young women effectively. I personally have a vision that our group, not to be clique-ish or anything, shall be the most bubbly, the most fun, the most joyous, the most grace-ious, the most LOVING, around. Not because I want our group to be known for fame's sake. Because I just want to be part of the biggest ripple around here to infect others. I want to be the most infectiously light-shining, life-giving, joy-diffusing (thank you, Tristan!) of the creatures around.

Enough of CHURCH being equated to RELIGION. I's tired of THAT! Let's make CHURCH, VICTORY ILOILO, the best place to be in, every Sunday! Let's make Christianity the most enviable thing on earth to be a part of!

Enough of the concern on who is the greatest in the kingdom. Ministry?! What's THAT?! Seriously. If there's any one thing I take away from the greatest writer/prophet to impact my heart, Pastor Rick Joyner, it would be this: God's heart is touched only to the level of how faithful you were (in terms of being responsible of, allowing to grow) to what He has given you.

Another is the understandting that the greater the obstacle you had to jump through, and the more cavalier the attitude you took with which to survive it, the higher your reward, in the Lord's kingdom.

Those two snippets were my understanding of what Pastor Rick Joyner had written in his book The Vision (Final Quest part, I believe, the story of Angelo the beggar).

That is how I want to live my life: faithful to every little thing that is in my hands, one thing at a time.

So yes, I make a commitment to throwing all caution to the wind. I shall:

• Live fully: Passionately and without a care what other people may think and how they can harm me. To my possible enemies: I shall follow the strict quid pro quo rule: I won't hurt you with full deliberate evil machinations, and I expect God to keep me safe from your intentions as well. :p If you cross the line and burn even a single one of my split ends without due reason, Psalm 105:15 ("Do not touch my anointed ones; do my prophets no harm.") shall be your yardstick. :p
  
• Love with abandon: No matter how many times I get hurt by you, I shall love you, and you and you. :p
  
• Learn in full humility: Not to draw attention to myself, but I just want to share share share what God has done for me and what He could do for you, too.

I am going to be here for only 22,818 days more. So I have to make the most out of those 22,818 days, give or take a few days.

So I, Lorie Therese Locara, shall give it all I've got!!!

According to the Death Clock, I'm supposed to die on Monday, September 14, 2071. A full 87 years, 4 months, and a day!!! I subtracted my current age from that value (24 years, 9 months, and 28 days), in order to get my remaining days on this earth. The equation is 31,876 (days of my full life) - 9058 (days I had already spent). Phew.

I think the Death Clock states that I'll live well into my 80s because I'm the optimistic type. Heheh.

Enough of the mathematical nitty-gritties. Either way, these are the days I have left into my life, and I make a commitment to LIVE THESE DAYS FULLY.


Truth be told, I had said "goodbye" to my teens before I left Manila. I tried to get my two best Graviton buds to understand the significance of my leaving, but I was unsuccessful. I knew that I would be living my days faster. No longer would I stick to safe and comfortable in the coming days. My game plan for the 2-3 years that I will be here in Iloilo would be to:

• Love as many new people as I can.
• Meet as many new friends as I can.
• Help out whomever needs my help, in their ministry, just for the heck of it. (I'm looking at Ate Jenny Galopo, and my buddies in Victory.)
• Reach as many people who are jaded about the Jesus they were taught, as possible.
• Have as many people through Victory Weekend and see as many women flying in their relationship with God, as possible.
• Have as many cups of coffee on the perch God showed me I could use as the substitute for my Cityland rooftop sunrise-gazing post, here at home.
• Have as many cups of coffee I can brew.
• Squeeze the most out of my Me-and-God/Theo Afternoons, as I still could.
• Understand how I could make a go of all these in my 24-hour days, as possible, even as I juggle work and these targets. And sleep too. Heheh.

I don't know if I could regain the level of intensity that my high school friends and I had before, but I know that my days would get faster. My sked would be so squeezed and bled for the maximum, that I know that my metaphor for my life (Rocket), would become true...

These are exciting days. These are amazing days. This is no time to remain sleeping. This is no time to live on the SOMEDAY. The day to live is NOW!!!

Awaaaaaaake!!! You only have ONE LIFE TO LIVE!!!


And oh, somewhere in between all that, I might as well clean my room. Like right now. Heheh. :p

Scandalous Life: Of Todd Bentley, Deaths and Remarriage

I've been noticing something lately. There is an abnormally high number of young deaths. As well as a good amount of remarriages after divorce. Do you think God is saying something here?

Perhaps, He is saying, that He is taking us out of our unholy marriage to "Egypt": love of money, things, things of the world, marriage to compromise: a mixture of the holy and unholy motives in our hearts and giving the Bride of Christ, the Church, a new marriage: one that will have the Bride faithful through to the end?

Or maybe He is saying, "Even though I have divorced you, I shall marry you again, this time, with a fresh covenant, a brand new start."

Waa. I'm seriously just supposing. I'm just wondering about the world events of late. Heheh.

Super Disclaimer: This is, in no way, an exercise of my prophetic giftings. All Blabber before Rick Joyner's article is just that: Lorie's personal blabber, supposition, and wonderings. You have been firmly forewarned.

Below is a serious article with the deep and sincere apologies of the prophet in charge of the prophet in the process of restoration... And his new wife. Heheh.

And yeah. I repent. For criticizing you. I'm no better than you, actually. If I'm the woman with the alabaster jar crying my heart out at the feet of Jesus, fully forgiven, fully healed, I should only extend the same level of grace and mercy that I was given.

I still don't know if you are a true sister in Christ. But I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. You have never harmed me, you don't even know I exist, but I have to say that I hated you with a passion I could slice through with a knife.

Maybe, just like Jessa, you went for him too soon. Maybe. I'll never know this side of Heaven. Only Jesus is your righteous judge. This forgiven harlot (meh) does not have any right to toss any size of stone or pebble on your way.

I'm sorry I had rained missiles on you with my words (that you never heard) and my thoughts. Someday, when we meet in Heaven, I'll know the full truth. Today, I am only thankful that I sit here corrected, and reminded of the long list of scarlet sins that I was forgiven.

Maybe someday I can observe you from afar and understand why he and God love you. Maybe someday we would even talk. As for today, I shall be happy ceasing all thoughts and barbs that issue from my mouth.

Til that day we meet in Heaven or even here on earth, I pray you live the rest of your life in peace, effectively having numbered your days: living passionately, loving completely, learning humbly, and finally, that you may leave this earth boldly.

Today, I make peace with myself, making the specific decision to zip my lips regarding you. I'm spitting out that tasty morsel of gossip; asking that God would make it as bitter venom to my tongue.

Whatever you did, wrong or whatever in our sight that was, I know one thing: Jesus has Tamar, Rahab, Ruth and Bathsheba in His bloodline. Such a scandalous bloodline, for a pure and Holy God! I'm in good company. So are you. :)

Either way, I'm just glad you don't know I exist.

Now, zip the drama, Lorie, and allow people to learn about what happened to Todd Bentley. :p

***

Todd Bentley Begins Restoration Process

By Rick Joyner

Todd Bentley was used to spark the Lakeland Outpouring, which raised the faith level of much of the body of Christ. Testimonies of healings and miracles from it are now virtually all over the world. When Todd’s marriage failed, he abruptly stopped all ministry and virtually disappeared for almost nine months. In the meantime, his divorce was finalized and he has recently remarried.

Todd has taken full responsibility for the failure of his marriage. He and Jessa also admit that their relationship was premature and should not have happened the way it did. Both are adamant that it was not the cause for the failure of his first marriage, nor did they begin their relationship until Todd was convinced that his marriage was over. They have both expressed that it was wrong and premature. They do not want to try and cover this up even though they know many will never accept them for it. Even so, they are married now and are resolved to make the most of their marriage, their lives, and to continue to serve the Lord in the best way that they can.

My position all along has been that I will do my best to comply with Galatians 6:1, “If a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted” (NKJV). To obey this Word, I have always felt that it did not matter what one had done, and that it was my responsibility to help them find the grace of God to return to the place from which they had fallen. I confess that with Todd, I am not just doing this as a duty. From the time I first met him nearly ten years ago, I knew that he had an extraordinary purpose and a gift of faith for the miraculous that would be desperately needed in these times. I consider helping any of God’s children an honor, and helping Todd is a privilege.

I also confess to some selfish ambition in wanting to do this. I had a dream two decades ago in which one of my children had fallen into a sewage ditch and could not get up. My child was being scorned and no one would help him. A man came along who helped my child get up and then cleaned up. In that dream, I felt as if I would give everything that I owned to this man who helped my child. Then I heard the voice of the Lord say, “Jim Bakker is My child. Will you help him?” Since that time, I have been devoted to helping any of God’s children that I could who have committed any trespass, because I knew there were few other things that would bring the Father’s favor. I consider this willingness to at least try to help others this way a major reason for the extraordinary favor that our ministry, my family, and I have received. I love Todd and am glad to help him, but I also know by doing this, I will be doing something that means a great deal to our Father.

When we release someone to minister in the body of Christ, we are releasing him or her to minister to God’s own children, and I personally do not do that with anyone who I would not allow to minister to my own family. For all that was done through Todd, and especially at Lakeland, which touched and helped countless thousands, many were also left confused and hurt by the way it ended. I think Todd is even more sensitive to this than I am. Although in some ways he greatly misses being in ministry and praying for people, he wants to be sure that when he comes back that his life and his ministry are on the most solid ground possible so that he does not cause these kinds of problems again.

Jack Deere and Bill Johnson have agreed to be a part of Todd’s restoration process. I asked them to be a part because I know they will probably see things I don’t, but also because both Todd and I trust them and know they would not sign off on something they did not really believe in. However, both of them are going to be involved in this at a distance, and therefore, I will be the main person responsible.

Being a believer in body ministry, I expect our whole leadership team, and to some degree, our whole local church, to be involved in helping Todd and Jessa. Our staff and all from the church that I have discussed this with are very happy about them being here and want to help them in any way that they can.

In future Bulletins, we will go into more detail about what we’re doing and why, as well as what we think was a cause of some of the failures Todd experienced. We will only do this for the sake of helping others avoid the same traps. We know that trust has to be earned and that Todd will have to earn the trust of the body of Christ for future ministry, which will not be easy, nor should it be. Todd, more than most, does not want to jump back into ministry prematurely, even as much as he misses it in some ways.

I for one have been very encouraged by the expressions of grace and genuine concern so many have expressed toward Todd in this situation. It gives me great hope. As we have been constantly reminded, the Lord had great patience with sinners, but He had none for the self-righteous. We’re all here because He had mercy on us, and we know we still need it. However, we also know that true repentance and restoration can only come if we refuse to compromise the clear biblical standards for morality and integrity.

Todd wanted to personally say the following:

It has been a long while since I have spoken publicly and openly. I am sorry for the hurt and confusion that my decisions have caused the body of Christ. It has been a true season of brokenness, hiddenness, and a long process of grieving.
As many of you now know, my previous marriage has endured years of unresolved conflicts. I apologize that it has ended in divorce, and I take full responsibility for my part for the ending of the marriage. I realize that my silence and decisions have caused many of you to feel hurt, confused, and offended. The reason for the silence was for my need of healing, creating a restoration process under a team of qualified leaders, much needed rest after the Lakeland Outpouring, repentance, and the divorce process.

I have now relocated to Fort Mill, South Carolina and have entered into my restoration and healing process under Rick Joyner, Jack Deere, and Bill Johnson. I am confident of this one thing—that God is faithful to His promise and my hope is to be fully restored, strengthened, healed, and to learn from all the mistakes I have made along the way.
Thank you friends and partners for your continued prayers, encouragement, and love. I am committed to the work of the Holy Spirit and confident that the good men around me will help me be restored first as a man, as a husband, and ultimately to fulfill God's call on my life.

Those of you who were touched by the Lakeland Outpouring do not lose your encouragement. What happened there was from God, and Todd is a true servant of God. He has made some mistakes, and he is trying to get his life back in order, and you can be confident that he will. Throughout the Bible, many of the greatest heroes in it also made some of the worst mistakes. King David, possibly the greatest hero in the Bible after Jesus, made one of the most horrible mistakes, not only committing adultery, but murdering the husband of the woman he committed it with. God knew that was going to happen with David when He called him, and He loved David before, during, and afterward.

One of the remarkable events in the Bible is that the Lord then used Bathsheba to bring forth the heir to the throne, Solomon, and she is part of the genealogy of Jesus. It still stretches me, but we need stretching in the grace of God. At the same time, we must balance it with how God hates divorce, and it is one of the scourges of our times that is tragically hurting many, many people. Marriage is under such an assault now because it is so important. However, legalism will not overcome lawlessness. This situation and similar ones that almost every church and family are now being faced with is one that we need answers for. We cannot run from Him, but must run to Him with our need.

Parents Kill Daughter While Teaching Her Manners

Jurors weep at details of 'Baby Grace' torture

By JUAN A. LOZANO, Associated Press Writer Juan A. Lozano, Associated Press Writer – 14 mins ago

AP – This undated file photo released by Sheryl Ann Sawyers shows her granddaughter Riley Ann Sawyers, 2, …

GALVESTON, Texas – Jurors wept Tuesday watching a woman describe how teaching her 2-year-old daughter proper manners turned into a daylong torture session in which the toddler was beaten with belts, dunked in cold water and flung across a room so violently that she died.

Kimberly Trenor, 20, detailed the abuse in a videotaped statement played for jurors during the first day of her capital murder trial.

Trenor, 20, told investigators in the statement that she hit her daughter with a thick leather belt to teach her to say "please" and "yes, sir."

The little victim was dubbed "Baby Grace" by investigators who worked to identify her decomposed remains after the body was found in a plastic container in October 2007 on a tiny island in Galveston Bay.

Trenor's 25-year-old husband, Royce Zeigler II, is to be tried separately on murder charges. His attorney argues that Trenor is responsible for the child's death.

But Trenor insisted it was her husband who became so enraged when the toddler didn't behave better that he hurled her several times across a room, ultimately fracturing her skull and killing her.

"I said we have to get her to a hospital. (Zeigler) said, 'No we can't. We'll go to jail,'" Trenor said in the videotape, crying. "There came a point where she stopped breathing. He started doing CPR on the floor. He took her ... and handed her over to me. I could just feel her going cold."

At the defense table, Trenor's eyes teared up as she watched the videotape on a large screen. Several jurors wiped away tears.

Riley Ann Sawyers tried to stop her mother and stepfather from beating her to death by reaching out to her mother and saying, "I love you," assistant district attorney Kayla Allen told jurors earlier in the day during her opening statement.

The toddler's pleas didn't stop her mother from brutalizing her, the prosecutor said.

Allen said that on July 25, 2007, Trenor and Zeigler disciplined Riley by whipping her with a belt, pushing her head against a pillow and holding her head under water. She said Zeigler tossed Riley across the room, fracturing her skull. An autopsy concluded the fractures caused her death.

Allen said the adults did nothing to help even as Riley lay dying.

Instead, the couple bought a plastic container, stuffed Riley's body inside and stored it in a shed for a month or two before setting it out to sea, the prosecutor said.

Defense attorney Tommy Stickler Jr. told the jury that Trenor never intended to kill her daughter and that things just "spun out of control."

Stickler portrayed Trenor as a scared 19-year-old girl who had moved to Texas from Ohio to marry a man she met while playing an online game. She said Riley's father, her former boyfriend, had assaulted her and Zeigler was her "knight in shining armor."

"I don't want to use the word accident, but this wasn't something that was intentional," Stickler said.

Trenor could receive an automatic sentence of life in prison without parole if convicted of capital murder. The jury could also convict her of a lesser charge.

Prosecutors declined to seek the death penalty because they didn't think they could prove that either one would be a future danger, as required.

Geez. Maybe they needed parent training. Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend will do the trick. :p

I Just Knew I Wouldn't Be Able To Stop

Casting Crowns - Let Me Love You

Misty Edwards - Finally I Surrender

Heather Clark Band - Deeper

Heather Clark Band - I Present Myself As A Living Sacrifice

Brian and Jenn Johnson - A Little Longer

I knew I'd find it hard to stop sharing with you, just as soon as I had posted the blog. Here were my iMeem picks over the past few days. I love how God has allowed the Internet to be the answer to the prayers of millions of Filipino Christians who had been longing for decent Christian radio here in this country.

I know that Jam 88.3 plays Christian music as well, but I don't have FM of late. Also, it just rocks that the music I find have not even been released yet, at times.


Here are my old-time faves, before I forget:

Amber N. Brooks - Like You Promised
Nina Landis - Captivated (Just look for it on her playlist)
Meredith Mauldin - Release the Angels (Same as Nina Landis, please just look for the song on her playlist)

And of course, the unbeatable women that got me started on my next level of loving Christian music:

Rebecca St. James - Lion

Misty Edwards - You Won't Relent


And prior to my discovery of Rebecca St. James or Misty Edwards, here are the rainshowers that have kept my heart alive through my dark adolescent years:

Caedmon's Call - Shifting Sand
Caedmon's Call - Love Alone
Caedmon's Call - Piece of Glass

Jars of Clay - Worlds Apart
Jars of Clay - Hymn
Jars of Clay - Flood
Jars of Clay - Liquid


Man, it feels like only yesterday when I've had those Caedmon's Call and Jars of Clay songs as anthems. I can't believe the difference of the angsty-ness of these anthems, as opposed to the lovesick-for-Jesus songs that I listen to today...

I guess it's really the way the Christian travels: from darkness and despair, and into light. :)

I'm so glad that I'm singing for the Lord to be my fire now, as opposed to "Take me out of the dark, my Lord.."

It was not a happy place to be in constant despair, you know. (Mighty redundant for a bit there, but anyway..)

I still have my moments, mind you. But these are more manageable now, thanks to how God takes care of me so well.

I'm just happy to be His daughter. :)

And here I am, sharing with you the songs that had earmarked my journey. :)


It was only yesterday that I had been swimming in the gunk of constant angst and pain, and today, I can finally use the word... "Happy."

I used to swear that word off. I used to despise the people who could use yellows and pinks for their profiles. Today, I am one of those who can use pink and yellow on my profile.

Uh-mazing.

God is. Not meh. Coz as I had realized one time, how I got here was not a function of actually agonizing about things. I had gotten to this happy place, one prayer at a time, one issue surrendered at a time. And oh, one command obeyed at a time.

I can't believe it, 2009 is dawning, and I have never felt better in my life. I had never felt this much hope and this much balance, as well as love in my life before.

And I owe it all to Jesus, for whom all these songs were sung. :)


I love You Lord!!!




(And yes, if you liked the songs on my post, nevermind my self-absorbed blabbering, please say a prayer for me, and let me know so that I can say a prayer for you too!


Hugs and Love!)

Movie to Watch: All Things New

You see them roam the streets. They follow you with sorrowful eyes and outstretched hands. Others are content to lean on the stairs of the MRT stations, sniffing their cares away. And you have the choice: to pour our your mercy and give what you could; or to harden your heart and turn away.


All Things New is a movie for and about these young people whom we meet everyday, and promptly forget, or deliberately ignore. It is a story based on the testimony of Jonjie Barcenal, a young man studying to be a pastor in a Bible school here in Metro Manila, whose former home used to be... In the streets of a city in Mindanao.

This is the story of how Jonjie and his friends got adopted and cared for by Christian missionaries in a shelter that they managed. This is the story of how miracles happened, and how everyone, from Jonjie and his friends, were molded to become the likeness of Christ, in the process of the movie.

This is a movie that would reassure you that miracles happen. This is a movie that would break your heart, as well. While I will not assure you that your movie critic's eye would be satisfied with this movie, I will assure you that this movie will not leave you unchanged.


I came into All Things New expecting another Ploning, with all the subtlety and finesse of Panoramanila Pictures' Dante Nico Garcia and the cinematography of Optima Digital... Nobody warned me, however, that I should understand that this film should be watched with the heart, and not the movie critic's eye.

In light of that, I would like to tell the All Things New movie-goer to shelve the film review skills you've learned in high school. You don't need them here. But I do advice you to bring a box, or two, of Kleenex. I deeply regretted having only my shawl and my hands to wipe my tears with.

Highlights of the movie include the funny customs of Filipinos. And the habits and attitudes that we all have down there, swimming in our DNA. Like reading other people's letters, for example. :p

Mayen Cadd's portrayal of Angelica Oosting was reminiscent of Ploning's gentleness; however, there are stark differences. While Ploning had a gentleness that hid her quiet steel, Angelica Oosting's strength was her gentleness. She is not gentle because she is strong. Rather, Angelica Oosting is strong throughout her being gentle, because her strength is not her own: it is the grace of God, shining through her character.

While it seemed at first that Angelica Oosting is the epitome of the Christian woman: someone I believe I'll never become, there was one scene that I could so relate to. Angelica Oosting was tasked to get only five children for the shelter when they got vacated, but 20 wanted to come with her; and when she got home, she stormed into her house and fought with her husband Ken Oosting, played by Alex Compton.

I could so relate to how she demanded to know why she needed to face the heartbreaking scene of needing to choose only five street kids for the shelter, leaving fifteen others to sleep days, weeks and months more on the street.

I could relate to her helplessness, to how she felt like she should not have needed to face that confusing situation alone, and how she felt like she should have had a shield against the children's onslaught.

I realized that we women need to face a lot of trials on our own, with God as our only shield. Like men, we have our own dragons to slay, and being "women" should not exempt us from these tasks and travails.

Being women does not entitle us to a softer life. Being women, we also have our own fights to rise above as victors, and we will rob ourselves of the exhilaration of the fight and the victory won, if we keep holding on to the mentality that "we should have been protected."

I like the intensity that Mayen Cadd had portrayed that scene with, and I like how she was able to show that sweet and gentle, "perfect Proverbs 31" Christian women get righteously angry too. Heheh.

I like her easy chemistry with Alex Compton, even though I am of the opinion that their sweet moments were a bit too cheesy for my taste. :p In spite of the "cheese factor," think their tandem worked for this film. And I especially liked the look on Alex Compton/Ken Oosting's face, as Angelica Oosting railed on him; I again understood that even a Spirit-filled man gets lost for words in the face of the furious storm of his wife's tantrum. Guys, in preparation for when your wife gets this way, I suggest you start building a bomb shelter months before you marry. :p

Another strength of the film lay in Red's Concepcion's portrayal of Nardo/Jonjie. I could see myself in my rebellious moments as I saw Red defying all that could be defied; and his irreverence, defiance, and intensity fit his role perfectly.

I fondly remember how he had openly challenged Pastor Rico, a former policeman, whom he hated, and mocked Pastor Rico to his face, in the presence of the other foster kids.

While I cringed at his defiance that so reminded me of my own, I had thought that the line "Saan ba mas lumalago ang binhi? Di ba sa tae?" (Does seed not grow better in fecal matter?)

This principle actually makes sense: in agriculture, animal fecal matter IS used as fertilizer. But in the evangelistic sense of the phrase, I did realize that it's amazing that to those who had been through so much, those people whom you could really call "human waste," whose lives are marked by so much of bad decisions, those are whom you'd eventually see becoming most passionate for Jesus. I guess this is what Jesus meant when He said that those who are forgiven much love much (Luke 7:47, paraphrased). Indeed, seed does grow better in fecal matter.

Pastor Rico, as played by Dido de la Paz, also fleshed out a very vivid performance. So did Rio Locsin, and the rest of the main cast. In terms of acting, they were all superb. I have nothing to complain for their acting, and am more inclined to label myself as "breathless" at their acting prowess.

For all its flaws, for all the awkward scenes, this movie is indeed a cup of hot chocolate that warms the hard heart.

It teaches Biblical truths like forgiveness, in a heartbreaking way. It reminds parents and leaders that it's not wrong to ask for forgiveness from your children; it actually helps them heal faster. It shatters misconceptions that Christians are supposed to be walking Jesus-es: perfect and incapable of anger.

While Jesus did get righteously angry too, people expect professing Christians to be perfect and good all the time. On the contrary, like Pastor Rico, a lot of us have guns in our closets still, and we do lose our tempers too. We are human like the next derelict; our only difference is that we have a God who constantly molds us.

Other cliffhanging moments in the film include an action scene that really spoke of God's capacity to protect His children, as well as the line that Alex Compton said, "You work so hard at not working hard," (paraphrased). It hit me because it's exactly what I do: work hard at not working hard. Heheh.

At the end of the movie, the real Nardo, Jonjie Barcenal, spoke to us about his people's plight. He reminded us happy and fat Christians, that there are BILLIONS of street children still out there, needing love, needing an understanding of their value as human beings.

I got to ask Jonjie of his experiences. Yes, he did go up in front of his Bible study class and defiantly mocked Pastor Rico. Yes, he did "all that," and reverted time and again to sleeping in the streets and tried to escape life via alcohol and other substances too, and my curious self did get to understand what a "rugby trip" felt like, thanks to Jonjie's stories.

I finally gained a better understanding of why street children sniff rugby, and it's not just because they didn't want to smell the garbage and themselves. To them who know no better, rugby, is, indeed, escape-from-life-in-a-bag. I got to ask Jonjie what he saw while tripping on rugby, but more importantly, I got to ask him and understand what finally got him to commit to Christ.

Indeed, when Jesus Christ wants to make a miracle out of your life, "No eye has seen, no ear has heard," what God has in store for you.

If God can turn around a young street child's difficult life and turn him into a soon-to-be pastor, He is capable of anything.

Indeed, like Jonjie said, there are still BILLIONS of him running around, needing our love and care. And lest you get overwhelmed at the magnificent task before you, understand that you are only tasked to be faithful to the one God gives you favor with, at the moment given to you; and if he/she needs to move on, know that "one waters. another harvests" in this Kingdom.

Again, I appeal to you to watch this movie with an open heart, as well as a suspended critical eye. When you watch All Things New, you don't come to be entertained; you come to receive a greater understanding of who God is and who you are in His scheme of things.

Indeed, bring Kleenex. Two boxes, please.


May God bless and protect you wherever you go, Jonjie. And for you, dear reader, let's start to help the street kids, one moment at a time.


Blessings!

Movie to Watch: All Things New

You see them roam the streets. They follow you with sorrowful eyes and outstretched hands. Others are content to lean on the stairs of the MRT stations, sniffing their cares away. And you have the choice: to pour our your mercy and give what you could; or to harden your heart and turn away.


All Things New is a movie for and about these young people whom we meet everyday, and promptly forget, or deliberately ignore. It is a story based on the testimony of Jonjie Barcenal, a young man studying to be a pastor in a Bible school here in Metro Manila, whose former home used to be... In the streets of a city in Mindanao.

This is the story of how Jonjie and his friends got adopted and cared for by Christian missionaries in a shelter that they managed. This is the story of how miracles happened, and how everyone, from Jonjie and his friends, were molded to become the likeness of Christ, in the process of the movie.

This is a movie that would reassure you that miracles happen. This is a movie that would break your heart, as well. While I will not assure you that your movie critic's eye would be satisfied with this movie, I will assure you that this movie will not leave you unchanged.


I came into All Things New expecting another Ploning, with all the subtlety and finesse of Panoramanila Pictures' Dante Nico Garcia and the cinematography of Optima Digital... Nobody warned me, however, that I should understand that this film should be watched with the heart, and not the movie critic's eye.

In light of that, I would like to tell the All Things New movie-goer to shelve the film review skills you've learned in high school. You don't need them here. But I do advice you to bring a box, or two, of Kleenex. I deeply regretted having only my shawl and my hands to wipe my tears with.

Highlights of the movie include the funny customs of Filipinos. And the habits and attitudes that we all have down there, swimming in our DNA. Like reading other people's letters, for example. :p

Mayen Cadd's portrayal of Angelica Oosting was reminiscent of Ploning's gentleness; however, there are stark differences. While Ploning had a gentleness that hid her quiet steel, Angelica Oosting's strength was her gentleness. She is not gentle because she is strong. Rather, Angelica Oosting is strong throughout her being gentle, because her strength is not her own: it is the grace of God, shining through her character.

While it seemed at first that Angelica Oosting is the epitome of the Christian woman: someone I believe I'll never become, there was one scene that I could so relate to. Angelica Oosting was tasked to get only five children for the shelter when they got vacated, but 20 wanted to come with her; and when she got home, she stormed into her house and fought with her husband Ken Oosting, played by Alex Compton.

I could so relate to how she demanded to know why she needed to face the heartbreaking scene of needing to choose only five street kids for the shelter, leaving fifteen others to sleep days, weeks and months more on the street.

I could relate to her helplessness, to how she felt like she should not have needed to face that confusing situation alone, and how she felt like she should have had a shield against the children's onslaught.

I realized that we women need to face a lot of trials on our own, with God as our only shield. Like men, we have our own dragons to slay, and being "women" should not exempt us from these tasks and travails.

Being women does not entitle us to a softer life. Being women, we also have our own fights to rise above as victors, and we will rob ourselves of the exhilaration of the fight and the victory won, if we keep holding on to the mentality that "we should have been protected."

I like the intensity that Mayen Cadd had portrayed that scene with, and I like how she was able to show that sweet and gentle, "perfect Proverbs 31" Christian women get righteously angry too. Heheh.

I like her easy chemistry with Alex Compton, even though I am of the opinion that their sweet moments were a bit too cheesy for my taste. :p In spite of the "cheese factor," think their tandem worked for this film. And I especially liked the look on Alex Compton/Ken Oosting's face, as Angelica Oosting railed on him; I again understood that even a Spirit-filled man gets lost for words in the face of the furious storm of his wife's tantrum. Guys, in preparation for when your wife gets this way, I suggest you start building a bomb shelter months before you marry. :p

Another strength of the film lay in Red's Concepcion's portrayal of Nardo/Jonjie. I could see myself in my rebellious moments as I saw Red defying all that could be defied; and his irreverence, defiance, and intensity fit his role perfectly.

I fondly remember how he had openly challenged Pastor Rico, a former policeman, whom he hated, and mocked Pastor Rico to his face, in the presence of the other foster kids.

While I cringed at his defiance that so reminded me of my own, I had thought that the line "Saan ba mas lumalago ang binhi? Di ba sa tae?" (Does seed not grow better in fecal matter?)

This principle actually makes sense: in agriculture, animal fecal matter IS used as fertilizer. But in the evangelistic sense of the phrase, I did realize that it's amazing that to those who had been through so much, those people whom you could really call "human waste," whose lives are marked by so much of bad decisions, those are whom you'd eventually see becoming most passionate for Jesus. I guess this is what Jesus meant when He said that those who are forgiven much love much (Luke 7:47, paraphrased). Indeed, seed does grow better in fecal matter.

Pastor Rico, as played by Dido de la Paz, also fleshed out a very vivid performance. So did Rio Locsin, and the rest of the main cast. In terms of acting, they were all superb. I have nothing to complain for their acting, and am more inclined to label myself as "breathless" at their acting prowess.

For all its flaws, for all the awkward scenes, this movie is indeed a cup of hot chocolate that warms the hard heart.

It teaches Biblical truths like forgiveness, in a heartbreaking way. It reminds parents and leaders that it's not wrong to ask for forgiveness from your children; it actually helps them heal faster. It shatters misconceptions that Christians are supposed to be walking Jesus-es: perfect and incapable of anger.

While Jesus did get righteously angry too, people expect professing Christians to be perfect and good all the time. On the contrary, like Pastor Rico, a lot of us have guns in our closets still, and we do lose our tempers too. We are human like the next derelict; our only difference is that we have a God who constantly molds us.

Other cliffhanging moments in the film include an action scene that really spoke of God's capacity to protect His children, as well as the line that Alex Compton said, "You work so hard at not working hard," (paraphrased). It hit me because it's exactly what I do: work hard at not working hard. Heheh.

At the end of the movie, the real Nardo, Jonjie Barcenal, spoke to us about his people's plight. He reminded us happy and fat Christians, that there are BILLIONS of street children still out there, needing love, needing an understanding of their value as human beings.

I got to ask Jonjie of his experiences. Yes, he did go up in front of his Bible study class and defiantly mocked Pastor Rico. Yes, he did "all that," and reverted time and again to sleeping in the streets and tried to escape life via alcohol and other substances too, and my curious self did get to understand what a "rugby trip" felt like, thanks to Jonjie's stories.

I finally gained a better understanding of why street children sniff rugby, and it's not just because they didn't want to smell the garbage and themselves. To them who know no better, rugby, is, indeed, escape-from-life-in-a-bag. I got to ask Jonjie what he saw while tripping on rugby, but more importantly, I got to ask him and understand what finally got him to commit to Christ.

Indeed, when Jesus Christ wants to make a miracle out of your life, "No eye has seen, no ear has heard," what God has in store for you.

If God can turn around a young street child's difficult life and turn him into a soon-to-be pastor, He is capable of anything.

Indeed, like Jonjie said, there are still BILLIONS of him running around, needing our love and care. And lest you get overwhelmed at the magnificent task before you, understand that you are only tasked to be faithful to the one God gives you favor with, at the moment given to you; and if he/she needs to move on, know that "one waters. another harvests" in this Kingdom.

Again, I appeal to you to watch this movie with an open heart, as well as a suspended critical eye. When you watch All Things New, you don't come to be entertained; you come to receive a greater understanding of who God is and who you are in His scheme of things.

Indeed, bring Kleenex. Two boxes, please.


May God bless and protect you wherever you go, Jonjie. And for you, dear reader, let's start to help the street kids, one moment at a time.


Blessings!